Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Four minutes until I can fart!
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
