i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
