The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
