I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
