I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
