so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
