go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
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