watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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