you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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