Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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