Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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