Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
