shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
