I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
