fuck your aforementioned shoe
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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