Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
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