Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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