if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize