Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Randomize
