Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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