I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Randomize
