And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
