Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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