he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
My legs feel like baby dolphins
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
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