Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Randomize
