Dual....:-)
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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