it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize
