Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
