How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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