If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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