you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Randomize