I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
