So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
