The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize
