Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
And my parents said I crawled through the house
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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