Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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