At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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