Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
