I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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