glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
