are you still at the devil's house?
People with herpes should wear stickers.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Randomize
