living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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