He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize