I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
two words...techno handjob
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
