I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
