Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
