The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
