3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize
