I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
