You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
She's like a pop up book from hell.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
