Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
ugly people sure do ruin things
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
3pm strippers are depressing
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
