He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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