There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
