You're so nebulous sometimes
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
