she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
