That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
