after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
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