hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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