So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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