And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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