i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
