I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
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