I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
