Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
