Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
