Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
