Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
