Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
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