can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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