I am spending my child support on dildos
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
