"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
