its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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