the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Randomize